Parenting Lingo Lesson

If you read my previous parenting post, you know that one of my favorite memories of raising my son was the time we got to spend riding in the car between school and home. It never failed to provide a forum to discuss his life and mine. These were times that I was able to really get a feel for how he was doing even if he didn't express it verbally.

This particular day, he was a bit quiet. He wasn't his usual upbeat self. So, I started asking questions ... "How was your day, anything happen at school, how's the thing going with your friend, lots of homework tonight?" To each question, I just kept getting one word answers so I knew there was something on his mind.

So, I said, "Well, tell me what's wrong." "Awe, nothing really," he mumbled. "Come on, tell me what's going on." I looked over at him and I could tell he was mulling something over. He started to tell me about how some kid was pestering him. Having an inherent need to solve problems, I started trying to get a handle on what the real issue was and then began trying to formulate some ideas on how he could work through this with this student.

As I asked about the fifth question, he turned to look at me as I was driving and said, "Mom, don't get all up in my Kool-Aid when you don't even know the flavor!" Oh, my, goodness, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life! At that, we both dissolved into laughter and the smile was back on my sweet kid's face.

The lesson I learned that day was that sometimes, we as parents, can't know or solve every challenge our children face, but we can be there to support them while respecting their need to learn how to navigate the friendship waters in their own way and in their own time. I learned to step back and "just be there" and to provide a place they feel safe finding joy in this life even when things aren't perfect.

Isn't that what life should really be about anyway ... finding joy in all that God has created. It's become a life challenge for me to find that joy in EVERY situation and God has never disappointed me. If I do get disappointed or have trouble discovering the blessing, it's because I have lost focus on what's really important like raising a man that knows how to be happy and that is a joy to those around him.