A Product Of Her Love

Everyone has someone in their life that provides the spark to explore the mystery of God and that person for me was my maternal grandmother, Marida Estelle Hancock, or as we called her Momo. From my earliest memories, I recall sitting at her feet listening to her read Scripture to me. We also sang many of the old Baptist hymns like Amazing Grace, Washed in the Blood, Old Rugged Cross, What a Friend We Have in Jesus and so on. I still have that hymnal and it makes me smile looking at the tape holding the binding together.

Marida Estelle Hancock, aka Momo
just over a month before she was hospitalized.

This was a woman that lost two children and raised three. She was married 50 years to the love of her life. She loved her family unconditionally. She choose to be a homemaker but never stop learning. Volunteering at her church, reading, playing games and sewing were just a few of her passions. I remember playing hours of dominos, rummy, yahtzee and the like. 

In her twilight of life, she suffered with congestive heart failure for six weeks in the hospital. During that time, I stayed every night with her and I was able to ask her questions about growing up in the early 20th century. She completed the 11th grade and left school to get married because she was pregnant. She lost the baby late in her pregnancy only to wonder if her "sin" was the reason God took her baby from her before she was able to love him. 

She also said it took a lot of her early married life to learn that my grandfather married her because he loved her not because "he had too." She carried that shame her whole life. There on her death bed, she expressed great regret because she didn't do all the things that she should have done and felt she had not used her life to God's glory as she felt she should have. 

That night, I prayed to God for the words to help her realize just how important she was to all of those that called her a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, brother and friend. These are the words that God gave me that night:

We Are the Product of Her Love - Kerri Smith, Feb. 3, 1990

Memory sometimes omits many of the minute details of life long moments. I believe in most cases it is a cushion for hurtful times, it is a small blessing, a fading thought. Although in the moments of great joy, those details survive the test of time.

Embedded deep within my earliest memories is the warmth I felt when I was in her presence. The unconditional love and acceptance that radiated through every inch of my being. The smell of the baked goods, baked goods that were made with all the love possible. The eyes of a woman that mirrored wisdom and strength that one could retreat into for comfort. Her voice as soft and soothing as velvet that always knew just what to say. From the very first memory till the latest, she always guided and taught us that the love of God and of mankind is the most important action one makes in their lifetime.

Her love has shown us the importance and of this action. She taught us by example. Through this love, we became secure and self-assured. This unwavering love was a force that brought us through the tough times by guiding us to the Lord, our God. If God ever empowered anyone to assist in bringing His children to Him, it was her.

The lives she touched were not limited to her family, but to friends and acquaintances, as well. Her dedication to her husband and children laid an indestructible groundwork that tragedy could not crumble. This groundwork's basic elements being God, and love for life in all it's glory.

We live our lives lucky to witness a miracle of God's love in such splendor. She was a product of His love and an inspiring spirit. Our achievements in this life can be attributed to a wife and mother surpassed by none other. With this we dedicated all our love in return. The ever-increasing circle nourished and nurtured by her.

If our works on this earth are indeed rewarded in the Kingdom of God then her place will be among the elite with a crown filled with jewels. We can only attempt to touch the lives of others and make the impressions that she had on so many.

She always believed that the love you give is returned ten-fold. We can only hope she realizes that we love her in that magnitude. Even if it was not shown in the consistency fitting her but was always there.

We are the product of her love - her love of God, her love of her husband and her love of life. 

 The next day, I read this to her and she cried. "Kerri, will you read this at my funeral?" she asked. "Momo, I don't know if I can do it," I replied. "You can do it. Please for me," she said. So two weeks later, I stood before a full church reading these words. I was not a professional speaker at that point. I had never spoken before a group before, but I did what she asked me to do not realizing that within a couple of years, I would be speaking to hundreds of people about things I was passionate about.

The mystery of this life affords us with all kinds of experiences that help to give us a glimpse of our purpose and through this heartache and loss I realized that I enjoy sharing my experience with others. Everyday, I spend time trying to move closer to the that ultimate Divine purpose and most days I fall extremely short but I have come to believe that there are lessons in that as well. Seize today, continue to seek your passion and you will be blessed along with those who God intends to be influenced by it.