Imagine carrying your child a month longer than you should as I did in 1985. I had gained so much weight I hadn't seen my feet in months. Women endure all kinds of unpleasant things while nurturing their children to birth but no one ever mentioned ingrown toe nails. By this time in my pregnancy, wearing sandals were my preferred choice.
After about a month, I knew that all the home remedies weren't working on both my big toes. It was horrible and so painful. After trying everything, I broke down and made the appointment to see a podiatrist or foot doctor.
I pulled into the brand new, packed parking lot in the front of an equally new office. It was situated that there was a drop off under a roof and a flower bed between it and the parking spaces. The office was so new that the landscaping wasn't even placed yet.
I had to park in the first row closest to the building facing the future sculptured flora. Now, there was a sidewalk at the center but in my infinite wisdom I chose to step in the light rich soil and went to step over the curb onto the drop off area. Just as I raised my foot, my flip-flop caught on the curb and I fell onto the pavement instead only to look up and realize that the waiting room was all glass. To add insult to injury, all the waiting room chairs faced the parking lot. Have you ever had one of these moments when you would rather crawl under a rock? I can tell you I struggled with just leaving but in the fall, I had scraped not one of the big toes but both ... yes, now they throbbed and were bleeding.
I sucked it up and slinked up to the reception desk. As I was walking in, I realized that I had landed hard on right knee. I could feel it was swelling. I said to the receptionist, I know was laughing inside at my flailing around in their parking lot, "Uh, I fell in your parking lot. Would you happen to have some ice I could put on my knee?" She jumped up, brought me back a small bag of ice and replied, "See if this will help."
Still trying to make myself invisible, I found a seat as far from everyone as possible. I didn't get seated good before I heard my name being called. I limped my way to the exam room. The nurse asked my reason for my visit and I explained the situation. Then, she asked, "Did you fall down in the parking lot?" "Yes, I tripped over the curb." She asked, "Did you hurt your knee?" "Yes, it is bruised I think."
She asked me to have a seat and that she would be back in a minute. I looked around and it was such a new office that there were no curtains or blinds at the windows. It still smelled of paint. After a few minutes, the doctor came in. He examined my toes and said that I would need to have surgery to remove the infection and cuticles. At this point, I was like ... okay just fix them.
Then he asked, "Did you fall down in the parking lot and hurt your knee?" All I could think was geez do they have to keep rubbing it in?! "Yes," I said shyly. "Do you mind if I take a look at it," he said. "Oh, sure," I replied as I tried to pull up my jean pant leg only to have it stop below the knee. If you remember the styles of the mid-80s, jean legs were tapered tight to the leg. The doc said, "Let's see what we can do. I really want to look at it for you." Okay, here I am in an examine room with no curtains when the nurse comes in with a sheet that was too small for any bed I have ever seen. She asked if I would feel comfortable removing my pants and using that to cover up best I could.
I relented as the nurse insisted the doctor really wanted to look at before I left. I turned my butt from the window and tried to hold the mini-sheet in front of me with my teeth while I removed my pants. Not much of my behind was covered by I shuffled over to the chair.
The doctor reappeared and examined the bruised goose-egg forming just under the knee cap. "Hum, hum, I don't think anything is broken but it's gonna be sore," he said. "I will give you a prescription for some pain meds in the meantime."
I limped out of their office and made my way to home. When A.J. got home, he asked how the appointment went. I told him the long embarrassing story. He looked at me and said, "You mean, you went to the foot doctor and had to take your pants off?" Then, proceeded to laugh. My bruised ego felt about as bad as my knee at this point but I had to laugh at the revelation.
My phone rang three days later when I answered a call from the doctor. "Hi, I was calling to see how your knee is. Do you need more pain medication? I will be happy to call a prescription in for you." I told him thanks but the goose-egg was healing. "Please give me a call if I can do anything for you," he said in closing. When I looked over at AJ, he asked, "Who was that?" I told him that it was the podiatrist and he replied, "Well, he is either worried about you suing him or he really liked what he saw!"
Now, this has been one of many stories my family love to tease me about. Even when I went for a checkup on my jaw, a friend asked if I had to take my pants off. It makes me laugh every time. Learning to laugh at yourself is one of the healthiest things I have found and boy, do I give people lots of opportunity to laugh with me! Take a moment to enjoy everything even those we sometimes wish we could forget ...
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