Hurricane Season for a Native Floridian

As Issac eyes Florida, it reminds me of all the days me and my family spent tracking and preparing for summer hurricanes. Being a military brat, we lived all over Florida, New Orleans and New Jersey so hurricanes were a part of our lexicon.

I know it seems odd but I miss those days and the excitement that went with preparing for something that was bigger than ourselves. We would stay glued to the TV as the reporters warned viewers that the storm, anywhere from 74 mph winds to well above 150 mph winds, could make landfall in our area. Mom would load all of us kids (four of us) and head to the grocery store to fight for water, potted meat, peanut butter, Little Debbie treats and bread. We would scrub the bathtub and disinfect it so that it could be used for water storage.

Mom would test all flashlights and check for candles, fill the cars up with gas and tape up windows when we lived close to either the Gulf or Atlantic. This process usually began about a week out because grocery stores would quickly sell out of the necessities.

When we lived in Key West, a hurricane threatened a direct hit, the first since the early 20th century. My stepdad, being in the Coast Guard, was required to take the boats to sea to avoid the storm leaving my mom and the kids on their own devices and to decide what to do ... stay in a shelter that was built in the 1940s and faced the very ocean that would carry the storm to our door or try to fight the traffic the 100+ miles to the safety of the peninsula or stay in our duplex. Mom chose to stay in the duplex that was our home. The Shore Patrol was not happy with the families that chose to stay in their homes. But, hey, I wouldn't mess with my mom in that day.

In the end, that storm went around Key West and it was spared once again. The weather was awful but we road it out at home. She always made these times fun with games and eating junk food. So, I was really never scared. I think that is a wonderful gift she gave us. In the midst of uncertainty, she never let us know that she was scared or that we may be in trouble.

Today, I see so many parents that share with their kids the problems of the day and the uncertainty takes it toll on the children. What I learned was that you take as many precautions as possible, you pay attention to what's going on and prepare but you make sure your children feel secure. In situations where you don't have any control, you have to trust God and know that He will bring you through whatever comes your way.

I still feel this and live my life in such a way as to make all the preparations that I can and trust God to bring me through it. I pray for all the people who are facing down Isaac and that they will find strength in the storm and God's blessings in all.

 

Parenting Lesson: The Tooth Fairy

This is a tooth fairy I would love to see
visit me in the middle of the night. If so,
I might have dentures within a month!

First, I want to know what weirdo came up with the idea of rewarding children for loosing baby teeth with money. What made someone say, "hey, my kid lost a tooth and it kinda hurt and well, I get to enjoy laughing at that snaggle-tooth smile for many months until the over-sized adult tooth replaces it so I guess I should pay for this entertainment." 

Then, how did they craft a story of a tiny flying fairy would search under the child's pillow to take the tooth and replace it with coin or for the lucky children a dollar or more. How would the fairy know anyway. All I know now is that I get to live with this childhood miracle that I have to admit, I enjoyed as a child. 

This whole idea is not socio-economically equal nor does it lend itself today's monetary spending habits of parents. Let me explain. First, children of parent(s) that fall below the poverty level surely face embarrassment when they report to their peers that they only found a mere quarter under their pillow only to have the kid wearing name-brand clothes laugh and say he received a crisp, brand new $20 under his. A tough lesson of the concept of life not being fair. 

Every parent faces this horrible reality. If you give them too much, they brag to their friends and you will endure the wrath of your neighbors for setting such a high expectation while avoiding the tear-filled question, "why did the tooth fairy not like me." 

See, I too, faced such a time when my son lost his third tooth. No, not the first tooth because he was lucky, I had a $1 bill in my wallet that night. The second tooth earned him a whopping $5 bill. Let me just say that my son was an over-achiever in the tooth-cutting and tooth-loosing arena. He cut at least three teeth at a time. He had a mouth full of teeth by one. So, I guess it only made sense he would loose them as rapidly. 

So, when the third tooth decided to pop out of his head, I found my wallet empty of bills of any kind. Now, I didn't have a debit card to blame in 1990 but I did blame my employment in a financial institution because just like with all professionals, usually you don't take care of your own business while busily working on member's (client's) needs. Well, that was the way it was that day I got the call from my husband saying my son lost another tooth. In that moment, I thought, "geez, I am going to go broke in a matter of days." That was the last thought I had until my sweet trusting kid proudly held up his tooth and beamed with the question of how much would the tooth fairy leave for him tonight. 

Shame swept over me for not remembering to get a few bucks before leaving work. What will I do. I turned over my purse, washing machine, couch and car trying to find a lost dollar to reward my wonderful tooth-loosing son. But to no avail, there was only 55 cents to be found. I stared at my puny find as I waited for him to fall asleep. I tip-toed in and place the coins under the corner of his pillow. 

I awoke to a baffled little guy holding a mere 55 cents in my face. At first, I wasn't comprehending what he was asking. Then, I heard him loud and clear, "why does the tooth-fairy hate me. She didn't give me dollars." In my fog, I had to devise an explanation that helped my little boy understand the situation without giving up the goods on the tooth fairy. So here it is ...

"Well, son, you need to know the tooth fairy is a business-woman. There's a concept called "supply and demand" which means when there is a lot of something, such as teeth, then she doesn't have to pay very much for them because she has a lot to choose from, but when there isn't very many of a particular kind of tooth then she will pay more because that kind is hard to find. So, I guess the tooth fairy had a lot of the kind of tooth you lost yesterday, but not very many of the ones before. You know, she can't pay more for those common teeth."

He looked at me for a moment and I thought, "That's a home run. He's gonna be happy with his 55 cents." But within seconds, it began, "So, mom, how much will the tooth fairy give me for this tooth. What about this tooth?" So, then I had to explain that there is not a price standard for teeth because it depends on what kind all the other kids in the world are loosing on that day. It just depends on the timing. "Whew," I thought, "made it through that." Then the zinger that challenged my fibbing ability, "What does she do with all the teeth she buys." "Awe, geez," I thought but said, "Well, sweetie, there are babies everywhere that have to be given teeth because they don't have teeth when they are born." To this, I got a big head nod, "Oh, I see!"  I happily ended this conversation with, "Drew, this the tooth fairy secret. You can't tell anyone." He sheepishly nodded.  

We played the "How Much Will I Get For This Tooth" game every time he lost a tooth and the surprise of the reward each morning was fun. For the record, his tooth fairy came through with a big haul once with a $20 bill. You would have thought I would have learned my lesson and hid some tooth fairy cash somewhere but it was priceless seeing his face when he ran into my room to show me. 

As I have said before, I had always wanted to use life's events to teach life lessons. This one was economics and business. Granted, he was only five! I will say I had a parent asked me about the tooth fairy being a business-woman because she said it saved her when she, too, found herself with only a few coins. Her son said, "Well, I guess she had lots of those teeth." She questioned him and he said my son had told him the "tooth fairy secret." She thanked me for coming up with the story. 

But, really, who came up with this anyway. I couldn't find a definitive answer. Here's probably the best explanation at Wikepedia. This paragraph is probably explains the rationale the best ... Parents tend to view the myth as providing comfort for children in the loss of their tooth.^[5] Research finds that belief in the tooth fairy may provide such comfort to a child experiencing fear or pain resulting from the loss of a tooth.^[9] Mothers especially seem to value a child's belief as a sign that their "baby" is still a child and is not "growing up too soon".^[5] By encouraging belief in a fictional character, parents allow themselves to be comforted that their child still believes in fantasy and is not yet "grown up".^[9]

Believe it or not, I still have those teeth I gathered over those years. Drew found them not too long ago and was shocked I still had them. All I could say was, "Hey, I paid a lot for those things and I wasn't going to just throw them away!" Then added, "Plus, they hold your DNA - just in case I ever need it!" 

 

Financial Educator's Foray Into An Elementary School

It's that time of year children & young adults ages 5-18 are dragging their parents out to buy them new school clothes and supplies. It brought to mind one of the best lessons of my professional career.  It was 1992 and I was working for a credit union in the Orlando area. My job was to go out and speak to potential new companies to invite them to join our credit union's field of membership and to go to existing company groups to tell their  employees about the benefits of membership all the while managing a very busy branch.

It was during this time when I learned about the National Youth Involvement Board's initiative to educate youth on financial management in the classroom. I approached my boss about going into the classroom near our largest employer group. I have always felt that if we could teach the kids financial management, the children would share what they learned with their parents which would facilitate a conversation about money management.

Unfortunately, parents are more likely to talk about sex with their children than financial matters. Very few people have learned how to manage money from their parents but kids do continue the cycle that they observe - good or bad. Something so important as how money works and how to manage it successfully has always been either a pet-project for school districts or completely ignored.

That was the environment 1992. I wanted so much to get in the classroom but my boss and the credit union CEO did not see this as the best way for me to spend my time. For those of you that may work in a not-for-profit organization, you will appreciate my title: Branch Manager/Marketing Director. Yes, that was my title and my branch was the busiest office for my organization.

The opportunity presented itself when I ruptured a disc in my neck (hey, I had to find the upside). The rupture necessitated a fusion in my neck to regain feeling and strength in my hands. Thus, began a long three-month ordeal of living in a four-post brace.

I decided that while I was healing, it would be a perfect time for me to try my hand at giving a presentation to my son's second grade class. I liked his teacher and they just happened to be learning about money in math. Perfect timing, right! I sent a note to his teacher and asked if she could call me to discuss the possibility. After a nice chat, plans were made for me to come and speak to her class the next week.

I will be the first to say that speaking to groups at this time in my life still held a great deal of stomach butterflies and when I looked out at all those faces, it was even more intimidating. I went through my presentation using lots of larger-than-life props of dollar bills, coins and a check. We talked about saving and spending including not having enough money to pay a check. In fact, I had the children play the parts of purchaser, credit union, bank and merchant.  We had lots of laughs and unexpected responses from the "actors."

We had wrapped up and I was feeling really good about the lesson when I asked did anyone have any questions. The cutest little boy raised his hand. He had been very involved the classroom presentation by offering lots of answers. I just knew he had some insightful observation or question. I stood there as he asked in a very bashful way, "How did you cut your head off."

You see, my incision did look like someone tried to cut my head off but I never once considered what the kids would think of my brace and scar. I learned that day that how your message is packaged or presented can overshadow your message. Looking back, I should've started my presentation with why I had a scar on my neck and had to wear the brace. Get it over with and that way the kids wouldn't have been wondering about it the whole time.

I still see that little boy's face asking me that question and how I tried to answer him. I've always learned something from every presentation I had the honor of giving. Understanding that our audience may get hung up on the messenger, not the message, is so important today. It's important when speaking to a group but also when we are dealing with everyday life.

BTW, several parents of the kids I spoke to that day joined our credit union and my bosses rewarded me by allowing me to speak to school children. It is still one of the greatest things I have ever done.